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Apologizing to Judith Butler

anecdote · personal/autobiographical · retold in 11 talks

Žižek recounts apologizing to Judith Butler for rude behavior; she said he didn't need to apologize. He argues this shows the retroactive logic of symbolic gestures: the apology worked, but the proof of its working is that it was declared superfluous, as superfluous, it was necessary.

2006: 2 talks 2007: 1 talk 2008: 1 talk 2010: 1 talk 2015: 2 talks 2016: 1 talk 2017: 1 talk 2019: 1 talk
≤2000talks it is told in, per year2026

As told 10

“My apology did work, but the proof that it worked is that it was retroactively proclaimed unnecessary. But as such, as superfluous, it was necessary.”
“She told me, 'Really Slavoj, I know how you are, that you didn't mean it really, you owe me no apology, everything is okay.' But you see the paradox?”
“She said 'no apology is needed,' but that was her way to accept apology. If she were to say 'yes, you had it was time for you to apologize,' this would really have meant that she didn't accept my apology.”

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one story, many jobs: the ideas this anecdote is deployed to argue, one tally mark per use (an idea page shows the same relation from the other end, as its shelf of stories)

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Every retelling 10

Žižek recounts apologizing to Judith Butler for rude behavior; she said he didn't need to apologize. He argues this shows the retroactive logic of symbolic gestures: the apology worked, but the proof of its working is that it was declared superfluous, as superfluous, it was necessary., illustrating surplus-enjoyment,determinate negation,language
After being rude to Butler and later apologizing, she responds 'you owe me no apology, everything is okay', which paradoxically creates a stronger obligation than a simple acceptance of apology would have. Illustrates the rule that grants freedom on condition you don't use it., illustrating freedom on condition you don't use it,ideology in everyday life
Žižek called Butler to apologize for rudeness; she said 'no apology is needed,' which was her way of accepting, had she said 'it was time to apologize,' that would have meant real non-acceptance. The empty gesture succeeds by being proclaimed superfluous., illustrating empty gesture,symbolic efficacy,Joker as superfluous yet necessary gesture
After being rude to Butler and apologizing by phone, she said he owed her no apology; Žižek immediately replied 'then I take it back', illustrating the paradox that an apology only works when declared unnecessary., illustrating meta-rule of the superfluous act,performative contradiction in social exchange
Žižek used vulgar insults toward Butler at a Swiss summer school, apologized unconditionally, and she said she wasn't offended and he owed her no apology, but she could only say that after receiving the apology, proving that excess gestures constitute the social bond., illustrating implicit rules and social norms,unknown knowns,the big Other
Žižek behaved badly at dinner with Judith Butler, later apologized; she replied 'you owe me no apology, I wasn't offended.' But this absolution was only possible after the apology was made, the apparently superfluous gesture was structurally necessary to produce its own superfluity., illustrating empty gesture,ethical substance,sincere hypocrisy